Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Deep Dark Secret...

Yes, I've chosen Valentines Day to reveal my deep, dark secret. Prepare yourself... it may or may not be what you're expecting. *giggles*

First off, I've come to dread Valentines Day. Not necessarily dread, but to me - it's really just another day. And yes, I'm married. Trouble is...

(and here's the secret)... my husbands romance-o-meter is on zero. Sometimes it even drops into the negatives, but it usually rests on zero.

This is the man who sent me 12 beautiful, long stem, fire and ice roses when he went on his first hunting trip when we were dating. WOW! I was so impressed. But now we're married. And we have bills and three little kids to pay for, amongst other things, so who wants to spend that kind of money on flowers, right?

During the first few years of our marriage this sudden lack of romance was horrible. Seriously depressing. But now - *shrugs shoulders* eh, don't really care. Okay, I don't care most of the time. We don't really worry about Valentines presents for each other and that's fine. But when he asked what I wanted for my birthday, I told him I wanted him to send me something at work. (Who doesn't love a romantic display of affection at work to show off their man, right?) Well guess what? The boy did GOOD! Really good! He sent me a dozen long stem lavender roses that were TO.DIE.FOR! *sigh* I'm glad he still has it in him when he wants to.

But here's the problem... writing romance!

Seriously! How am I supposed to write an awesome romance without any inspiration? UGH! It's horrible and quite frustrating at times. But guess what? There is inspiration in other places AND... we're writers... we have IMAGINATIONS! And that's what I use my imagination for!

FYI --- my husband must be getting better. Funny boy ordered me something in secret (to be delivered to me at work) but he didn't realize the confirmation email would go to our shared email account. *insert evil laugh* So I may or may not have seen it and hurried and deleted it so he wouldn't think the surprise was spoiled.  Yes, I do have an evil side!

So, no matter what this holiday brings you... 
Happy Valentines Day!
 FYI ~ I really do love my husband, despite his lack of romantic ability. I especially love that he makes dinner on Sundays! Man, that guy can cook!

29 comments:

Trisha F said...

Well, I should hope that one can write romance without having an iota of inspiration, since I don't have any in my personal life to base my stories on. And I guess if I was going to base my romance stories on what's happened to me IRL, they wouldn't be romances anymore but man-hating rants that probably wouldn't sell many copies. hahaha. Seriously, though, I find it quite easy to write romance because I guess I'm living vicariously through my characters. Thankfully I get to make them suffer a bit too before they get their happiness. I do have the real-life goods for that part. LOL

Suzi said...

I assume he doesn't read your blog then, otherwise he'll find out your little secret.

You gotta watch those confirmation e-mails. And now some stores are even sending receipts to e-mail. That's technology for ya!

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

My husband is not so great at that stuff either. He's bad with words, but pretty good with actions. When he proposed he filled the house with candles and rose petals, then said, "So, the cat and I talked it over, and you already know how to spell my last name, so what do you say?" Yeah, less than stellar. ;)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I bet you can fake the surprise.
I'm much better at doing romantic things than I am at writing it.
And outside of a single rose, I don't do anything special for my wife on this day because I should be doing it every day.

Julia Hones said...

You are not alone. I couldn't care less about Valentine's Day. Yes, I am married, but I never liked this date. Not even when I was single. Why should we be pressed to feel romantic anyway? I don't get it. It's just a date to sell more flowers and chocolate.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

My grandma always said, "Those who don't get it, dream it." Okay, so she was talking about boys who spread "secrets" in locker rooms...but when life becomes new tires vs. roses...it's time to start playing pretend!

ilima said...

I've stolen so much from my own life for writing romance. I think you should try to get some practice in, lol. :) Happy Valentine's Day!

Sheena-kay Graham said...

Happy Valentine's Day Leigh. Glad your husband is putting out the effort. Be kind to him.

S.P. Bowers said...

We don't particularly celebrate V-Day. And I've pretty much given up on surprise gifts. We have the same email issue.

Donna K. Weaver said...

Some people are just better at that stuff than others. So you take command of it to make sure you guys still get to do some romantic things together.

I'm glad he's learning a little, though. :D

Samantha May said...

Aw!

Writing romance is not one of my strong points, mostly because I'm the most awkward individual to date (so writing it does not come naturally). It's true, ask the boyfriend. Not sure how he does it :D

Angela Cothran said...

Hehehe :) So funny!

Mark Koopmans said...

Hey,

Well at least the Hubster has made the effort this year, so good for him :)

I used to bring flowers home every Friday... for years... seriously... hmmm... how did that stop.... OH yess..... the kids started arriving and sleep became a deprivation :)

Am. Trying. To. Be. Better. (Does a dozen wooded Tulips from Amsterdam count?)

PS: Happy Valentine's Day to all the ladies out there (OK, now I sound like a Chipendale stripper... I'm out of here!!)

Jenny S. Morris said...

My husband really tries! He did surprise me with a laptop a few weeks ago. That was awesome. And he's taking me to the coast for our anniversary. ;) You have to pull from the other things people do. romance isn't always roses and chocolates. Hope you have a great day.

Krista McLaughlin said...

I don't have a husband or inspiration for writing romance, so I try. But I at least enjoy trying to write something creative and romantic. :) And at least he tries sometimes!! :)
Happy Valen..... err, have a great day!

Rena said...

That's really sweet that he made the attempt, and I think it's brilliant that you erased the email so he wouldn't think you'd found out. Go you. Sometimes it's hard to chase down all the strings.

Happy (somewhat late!) Valentines.

clarbojahn said...

Hey Leigh! Happy late V day!!

Glad you got the roses. You know it's anticipation that makes a good romance right? Not whether your character got roses or not. Glad you did though. Way to go!! :)

Kathryn Purdie said...

Your poor husband. I'm glad he seems to be getting back in him romantic groove, even if it screws it up on the email account! ;-) Happy late Valentine's Day!

Shallee said...

Happy V-Day to you too! My hubby isn't much of a romantic, either, but then, neither am I. My guy is plenty thoughtful, though, and I love that about him. Love that your guy is "surprising" you!

Cindy Keen Reynders said...

Since I'm writing romance right now, I consider it all fantasy. (Heh, heh.) Use your imagination when writing it; what would you "like" to happen if romance went perfectly? Also, watch lots of romantic movies, etc. That will get you in the mood.

Peggy Eddleman said...

Haha! You evil, evil girl. ;)

Where's the picture of the roses?

Coleen Patrick said...

There was a time when my hub would over think his gifts and end up getting something very practical like a kitchen mixer. :) Now he knows I get super excited over a Starbucks gift card. Mostly what's romantic to me is knowing he's thinking about me. Oh and when he brings me a cup of tea at night! Thanks for sharing this sweet post Leigh.

Patricia T. said...

What a hoot! I am still laughing. Best blog I've read. I hope your hubby doesn't read it.

I've been married almost 32 yrs., and we mutually decided not to get caught up in the hype of things like Valentine's Day. We do things together that are special and we both love to do together -- so being together is what is important when it really matters.

Loved the laugh. As for your romance novels, your imagination is your secret weapon! :)

Tammy Theriault said...

Maybe you can write about what you WISH would happen....that would be borderline erotica, right??? Haha...

Leslie S. Rose said...

I consider writing romance like a personal wish list. Glad your hubs in getting back in the romantic saddle.

Misha Gericke said...

I'm with Leslie. I like to write versions of what I think would have been nice if it happened to me. Maybe that makes me weird, but then that wouldn't be a surprise.

Hope you had a good Valentine's day!

Kelley Lynn said...

A guy that cooks? That's better than roses. IMO ;) haha

Tara Tyler said...

i'm with you on the lack of romantic bones in my hub's body... ah well. but once in a while he comes through. but i dont mind so much cause i'm not a romancey girl.

and cooking is a good thing!

Adeeva Afsheen said...


Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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